Play your way into cooperation and connection: a workshop for the whole family

Parenting is the hardest job anyone does. It comes with no training, no ongoing technical support, and no HR department to complain to (joking/not!).

The responsibilities are epic, with real life consequences. The needs of your children are constantly changing.

What if you had a set of tools that got your more of what you wanted in family life (cooperation+connection) and less of what you don't (arguments+frustration)?

You ask them to put their shoes on. Nothing.

You ask again, nicer. Still nothing. Then maybe not so nice. By the fourth ask you're yelling, or bargaining, or exasperatedly putting the shoes on their feet yourself, just trying to get out the door. Nobody in your house is having a good morning.

Your kid is not confused. They heard you the first time. What if your kids actually just did what you asked the first time, easily and without argument ? What if they ignore you on purpose?

In this four-hour family workshop, you'll learn a foundational set of tools that grow with your family as your chilren grow.

Kids exercise their power through resistance, or fail to cooperate when they've lost connection.

That doesn't make them a bad kid, and it doesn't make you a bad parent. It's what happens when you aren't fluent in power dynamics, and don't know how to play as your first intervention.

Kids are capable and aware of waaay more than they get credit for.

In this workshop, we're going to help you get the tools, so you don't become the tools!

What happens in the workshop

Play your way into cooperation and connection is a live, four-hour introductory workshop for parents and kids together. Come play and practice parenting tools with your kids directly involved.

This is a judgement-free zone. We're not here to judge anyone's parenting or anyone's kids. We're here to really listen to kids describe what it's like to be them, to learn how they use the little power they do have, and to learn tools that make cooperation and connection the default in your house.

A rough outline of our time

1. Play as a way of achieving your desired outcome. The shoes still have to go on. You'll practice making a playful move to get what you want (and need!) from your kids, BEFORE frustration sets in. You'll start finding your own style of play. (You do not have to be a silly-voices person.)
2. Safewords, in four colors. Also known as the "zones of regulation": blue, green, yellow, red. The safeword system is a game changer for keeping family peace, preventing meltdowns and dysregulation, creating safety, and returning to regulation in the aftermath of big feelings.
3. The kids "tell on themselves." Your kids will tell you their own ways of resisting you. Expect to be surprised by just how aware they actually are of what they do.
4. Play to connect. You'll learn Special Time: a short, set block where your kid is in charge, and you follow. This is where the trust comes from that everything else draws on.
5. Ask the kids. Ten minutes where you can ask my children anything about how this works at our house, (including our other tools not covered in this intro session).

What you go home with

• Four color words your family can start using right away to create more safety and regulation in the family
• New understanding! Your own kid's way of resisting your power, fighting for their own power, and what it's like for them to be kids in your family system.
• A Special Time plan for the week ahead (and how it will support your parenting must-dos)
• At least one playful, proven move you can fall back on when the "fresh connection" magic fades after Special Time.

This is for you if:

• You have a kid between 6 and 10, and at least one parent or caregiver can come with them (ideally the whole fam)
• You're worn out by the daily standoffs: morning routines, screen time arguments, chore arguments, bedtime routines
• You're curious to learn the ways your child actually KNOWS they are resisting you
• You're willing to try something new alongside other families, and have fun!

This is not for you if:

• You want a system of charts, rewards and consequences
• Your family needs one-on-one support right now (inquire about my 1-1 coaching support)

Questions parents ask

What do you mean by safeword? Isn't that a BDSM thing?
The safeword system maps to the zones of regulation, but I find kids of any age immediately understand it as a word anyone in the family can use to keep themselves or someone else safe (and don't have the the association of it with BDSM at all).

I'm not a playful person. Will this still work?
Most adults aren't, at first. Part of the workshop is finding the kind of play that is yours, and letting your children in on what that is, too. Play is the first and foremost language children speak; practicing your own fluency is essential to supporting yourself in the job(s) you do as a parent.

What if I'm scared of being judged, or embarrassed by my kids' behavior?
This is a judgement-free zone, where we will all embody the tools we are teaching. We welcome you and your kids, exactly as you are.

My kid is shy. Will they have to talk?
No. Nobody is made to share. The workshop will open with a facilitated play for all kids to join, and my kids will share first to create a sense of safety for anyone who wants to share with the group.

Is this permissive parenting?
No. You are still the parent and you still set the limits. Play is used a form of making requests, giving instructions, and supporting your agenda as a parent. It also comes before demands. Boundaries, alongside kind and respectful requests for adjustments, are encouraged.

Four hours is long for a kid.
Very true! This experience is designed with keeping kids' engagement in mind; there will be breaks, snacks, and childcare support for kids during the grown-up only teaching portion. No one (grown ups included) will sit and listen for more than ten minutes at a time. This is an interactive workshop.

Who's teaching: my whole family, aka The Shady Bunch

Ariyele Ressler: parent, autodidact, lifelong learner, Level 3 trained IFS practitioner, somatic coach, and neuroplastic brain-rewiring enthusiast.

J. Clarke: learning and development expert, former middle school teacher, and croissant lover (aka dad-bod possessor).

Featured guest stars: our kids, ages 11 and 8. Bios as yet unwritten. They're still cookin' :)

Family Power Systems draws from highly establiand parenting modesl, and proposes that the language, tools, and practices usually relegated to the kink and BDSM world for consensual power play (desires, boundaries, safewords, consent, and aftercare) are re-purposeable for family life:

• Desires = what a kid (or parent) wants
• Boundaries = what the limits are (for safety, health, or otherwise)
• Safewords = aka as Zones of Regulation; empowers everyone in the family to improve self-regulation and thrive together
• Consent = the tools a kid needs to learn to negotiate their desires and boundaries (in and outside the family)
• Aftercare = the family's ability to offer each other repair after rupture

Nothing in this workshop is sexual. It's about families talking honestly about power, which kids turn out to be excellent at.

The details

When: Sunday, December 6, 2026, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., with breaks.

Where: Temescal, Oakland. The exact address is sent after you register.

Who comes: Your family: at least one parent or caregiver, and kids ages 6 to 10

How many: 4 families total. When 4 have signed up, registration closes (with a waiting list).

Price: $199 per family

Refunds: Full refund if you cancel before November 20. After that, your fee becomes a credit toward a future workshop.

Questions: Write to me at ariyelecoaching@gmail.com

There are only four spots! This will make for an intimate and attentive time. Save yours now!