what is Family Power Systems?

The nuclear family — and everything that happens within it — is both an ecosystem and a container. Inside it, parents and children are in a constant power exchange that's rarely named clearly or explicitly negotiated. Family Power Systems (FPS) starts from the premise that this exchange doesn't have to stay implicit: the container can be consciously built and continually renegotiated by the people inside it, and can evolve through the different developmental  stages children reach as they grow into healthy adults.  

Family Power Systems draws from highly established parenting models, and proposes that the language, tools, and practices usually relegated to the kink and BDSM world for consensual power play (desires, boundaries, safewords, consent, and aftercare) are re-purposeable for family life:

• Desires = what a kid (or parent) wants

• Boundaries = what the limits are (for safety, health, or otherwise)

• Safewords = aka as Zones of Regulation; empowers everyone in the family to improve self-regulation and thrive together

• Consent = the tools a kid needs to learn to negotiate their desires and boundaries (in and outside the family)

• Aftercare = the family's ability to offer each other repair after rupture

Children (of all ages) are capable of way more than they get credit for. This model supports children in learning the language, tools, and skills they need to negotiate the truth of power dynamics in their own families first, and then, the world at large.